Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that recreational
activities
are a better approach for maintaining public healths while others believe that other factors are
also
needed to measure as sports plays a very less role to stay healthy. In my opinion, sports are important for stay healthy but other factors are
also
considered.
Firstly
,
This
is
undoubtable
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
that sport participants have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body as sports
activities
prevents
Change the verb form
prevent
show examples
them from many
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
like obesity,
diabeties
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, high blood
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
but
also
help for their treatment. For
illutrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, In
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
study the number of people who
regurlarly
Correct your spelling
regularly
participate in any kind of physical
activities
like swimming , running have significantly lower body mass index values, lower blood pressures, and lower resting pulse rates.
Moreover
,
sportism
Correct your spelling
sports
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
to develop
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
and help to remove stress and anxiety.Researches found that participants found more
relax
Change the form of the verb
relaxing
show examples
, calmer after physical
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
rather than inactive. Along with that, Adventure programs teach the importance of trust, appropriate
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
, supportive social interaction and personal challenge while creating valuable life long memories which helps for public mental peace and health. On the
Flip side
Correct your spelling
Flipside
show examples
,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
aspects
are
Change the verb form
also need
show examples
also
need to take care as building
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
hospital with all
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
and good medical staff are needed for public health. For illustrate, In
corona
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
Correct your spelling
pandemic
pndemic
Add a comma
,pndemic
show examples
all world are facing shortages of bed in hospitals and oxygen supply which
indanger
Correct your spelling
endanger
in danger
public life. so
a proper medical facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
proper medical facilities
a proper medical facility
show examples
should be developed for public safety in case of emergencies in any pandemic situation.
Moreover
,
Many
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
people are homeless and poor
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
cannot afford food and medicine so a proper budget should be pass to provide
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
basic
Change preposition
with basic
show examples
needs. Along with that , people who live leisure life should have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet along with physical
activities
. In conclusion, For
Correct your spelling
public
puclic
Correct article usage
the puclic
show examples
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
Correct your spelling
government
goveronment
Correct article usage
the goveronment
show examples
should have to take
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
actions and
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
budget should
be maintain
Change the verb form
be maintained
show examples
between physical
activities
and other aspects like medical services and social welfare campegion.
Submitted by skshikhakochar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: