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Children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #people #government #responsibility
There is a fact that
children
 are becoming overweight and unhealthy.In some countries,the number of
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
children
 is increasing dramatically
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
For example
,approximately 21%-24% of
America
Replace the word
american
show examples
children
 and adolescents are overweight and another 16-18% is obese.Many people say that the
government
 should have the
responbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree with that idea.
This
 essay will discuss the role of the
government
 to minimize the number of
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
children
.
Obesity
 is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to an extent that it may have a negative effect on health.
Obesity
 is caused by many reasons.
Firstly
,with the development of fast
food
,more people choose to eat them because of their convenience.
Secondly
,
children
 do not do exercise and join outside activities,they just stay at home and watch electron devices.Redundant energy accumulated
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the form of grease causes
obesity
 There are some reasons why the
government
 has to take responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing
obesity
Correct article usage
the obesity
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
.
Firstly
,
children
 are the
next
 generation of the country in the future. If the country wants to develop the economy,culture or politic,young
genertation
Correct your spelling
generation
 must have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health,fitness so the
government
 should have measures to deal with
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
parents
 should share the liability with
authorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 because they are companions with their
children
. Solving these problems involves both
parents
 and
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
.The
government
 should propagandize
children
Change preposition
to children
show examples
 that they should eat less fast
food
 and junk
food
.
Moreover
,authorities should open general health check.
Parents
 should keep an eye on
children
 by cutting down
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of sugar,fat in their
food
.They should
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
children
 to join outside activities,do more
exercie
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
 to burn calories and
gease
Correct your spelling
grease
ease
.
Inconclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, the
government
 have the
responbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 in curbing the
obesity
 epidemic.
Besides
,
parents
 should share the liability with the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.We should encourage
children
 to maintain healthy eating patterns that contain less fat and sugar
Submitted by Dương Nguyễn on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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