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Band 5

Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#unemployment #challenge #school-leavers #countries #challenges #face #people
Presently,when a student gets graduation from
eduactional
Correct your spelling
educational
 centres
then
 he gets
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to worry
show examples
worry
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worried
show examples
 about his future because as we see numerous educated masses are unemployed after getting degrees or diplomas.I agree that getting no
jobs
 these days is a
thinkful
Correct your spelling
thankful
 obstacle for nations and
high
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the high
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 price of surviving ,struggling till getting a good job are some big destinations that juveniles are facing in the present time.
Firstly
,it is clear that after completing studies there is
probability
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the probability
a probability
show examples
 to reach the goals which we set up in our past life.
For example
,many individuals make a dream to become a doctor after graduation but few
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
 of public get
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 to make it real
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 in our system we have limited seats.
Furthermore
,I believe India is at the top list for unemployment due to
it's
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its
show examples
 corruption and there are uncountable people which are
at
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in
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 high positions after feeding the money to their
sysytem
Correct your spelling
system
.
Secondly
,the period between after graduation till
get
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getting
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment that time needs financial support for the youngster's and being
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent they have to take
this
 burden on their own shoulders.To illustrate,my friend in India had graduated
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 science diploma and he had
not
Add the particle
tonot
show examples
 get his job till one year though he faced
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of problems in that period like
,
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apply
show examples
food and shelter. In conclusion,it is undeniable that needed people are not getting
jobs
 in
this
 era because we all are in a
competition
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competitive
show examples
 race and some nations are corrupted.I personally believe that
regime
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the regime
show examples
imply
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implies
show examples
 some rules and regulations the provide
jobs
 to poor and
need
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needy
show examples
 ones rather than giving
jobs
 to billionaires.
Submitted by aishapreet10 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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