Full-time university students should spend a lot of time studying, but it is essential to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that participation in extra-curricular events is indispensable to students who study full-time in tertiary education. I believe
this
phenomenon prepare undergraduates better for future challenges.
First
and foremost, noncollegiate activities
such
as societies create an environment for like-minded youngsters to work as a team towards their mutual goal.
This
entails continuous discussion and communication which
further
horn their interpersonal skills which are practical in later life. Social service clubs,
for example
, the experiences of striving for manpower and aid funds to lead a successful project are prominent training other than academic studies.
Furthermore
,
the
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networking built on common interests outside academic competition
last
longer and become an asset for young adults.
Consequently
, friendship and pastime provide an outlet for the distress of full-time studying and improve college students' well-being.
On the other hand
, joining part-time work related to future career offer profound advantages to tertiary learners. Students of business faculty especially, earn not only income but
also
future connections towards employment and chances to an in-depth understanding of
specific
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the specific

The noun phrase specific industry seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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industry. Taking my personal experiences,
for instance
, working at one of the big four accounting firms during summer and winter breaks, dispelled the glamorous of elite auditors but hard-working and detail-focused professional life.
This
also
results in the recognition of my working performance and leads to position offers after graduation. In conclusion, since post-secondary pupils benefit from other activities from various perspectives, educators should provide an open atmosphere on campus and foster youngster to a wider range of lifestyles.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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