IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills
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Our society
are
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is
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 facing the issues that the young commit some
crimes
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. Some people argue that if
parents
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 learn how to bring up their
children
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, these crime rates would be reduced. I disagree to a certain extent with
this
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 view as educating
parents
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 is less likely to be effective and there is another solution to these issues. On the one hand, the trend of teaching
parental
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parenting
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skills
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 to
parents
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 carries some upsides. One of them is that when
parents
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 who are unfamiliar with discipline are taught how to educate their
children
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, they can carry out what they learn,
thus
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 contributing to a certain effect on youth
crimes
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. Another important advantage is that it would be relatively easy to teach these
skills
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. If local councils gather a number of
parents
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 in a large venue, they can educate the
skills
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to
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of
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 many people.
This
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 can save time for
parents
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 and local councils.
On the other hand
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, teaching
parental
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parenting
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skills
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 to
parents
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 would be ineffective
on
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in
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 reducing young crime rates.
Firstly
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, if governments educate
parents
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 about parental
skills
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, it would be uncertain whether or not they carry out these
skills
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 to their
children
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. Even though they follow these
skills
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, it could not work well as the character of
children
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 can profoundly vary.
Secondly
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, there would be another way to solve the issue, i.e.
crimes
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 by the young. Educating youngsters, teaching moral values at school or convicts telling their stories to pupils, would be a better way to reduce youth
crimes
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,
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apply
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 because it has a direct impact on them. In conclusion, while educating
parents
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have
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to have
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 some benefits, in my opinion, it is not necessarily the best way to reduce youth
crimes
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 because there is another solution to
this
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 issue.
Submitted by puffindog101 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
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