The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Our society
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject Our society. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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facing the issues that the young commit some
crimes
. Some people argue that if
parents
learn how to bring up their
children
, these crime rates would be reduced. I disagree to a certain extent with
this
view as educating
parents
is less likely to be effective and there is another solution to these issues. On the one hand, the trend of teaching
parental
Replace the word
parenting

The word parental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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skills
to
parents
carries some upsides. One of them is that when
parents
who are unfamiliar with discipline are taught how to educate their
children
, they can carry out what they learn,
thus
contributing to a certain effect on youth
crimes
. Another important advantage is that it would be relatively easy to teach these
skills
. If local councils gather a number of
parents
in a large venue, they can educate the
skills
to
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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many people.
This
can save time for
parents
and local councils.
On the other hand
, teaching
parental
Replace the word
parenting

The word parental doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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skills
to
parents
would be ineffective
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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reducing young crime rates.
Firstly
, if governments educate
parents
about parental
skills
, it would be uncertain whether or not they carry out these
skills
to their
children
. Even though they follow these
skills
, it could not work well as the character of
children
can profoundly vary.
Secondly
, there would be another way to solve the issue, i.e.
crimes
by the young. Educating youngsters, teaching moral values at school or convicts telling their stories to pupils, would be a better way to reduce youth
crimes
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because it has a direct impact on them. In conclusion, while educating
parents
have
Add the particle
to have

It appears that the verb have should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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some benefits, in my opinion, it is not necessarily the best way to reduce youth
crimes
because there is another solution to
this
issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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