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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement
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Some
people
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 believe that the
government
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 should take care of old
people
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 and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own
retirement
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. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. It is true that when
people
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 advance into their golden years, they require more help and attention. For that reason, a significant number of
people
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 hold the opinion that the
government
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 should provide financial assistance to the elderly.
However
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, I tend to agree with those who argue that workers should be saving a portion of their income to have a nest egg in their
retirement
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.
To begin
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 with, a culture of saving rather than depending on the
government
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 may foster the overall economic development of a country.
In other words
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, if
people
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 were to accumulate their own savings for their pension age, it would lessen the financial burden on the
government
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.
As a result
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, the
government
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 would be able to release more funds to more productive purposes,
such
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 as
development
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the development
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 of infrastructure, industries, hospitals, and so on, which may expedite the overall progression of a country.
In addition
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 to economic factors, putting money aside has some personal benefits. Since savings-oriented
people
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 are not dependent on the state for their living expenses,
this
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 may
instill
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instil
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 a sense of self-respect and pride in them.
On the other hand
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, those who are reliant on financial assistance very often face the negative societal stigma, as many
people
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 consider them to be inferior and unworthy members of society.
Hence
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, to live a life with dignity and pride, taking responsibility for
funding
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finding
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 one’s own
retirement
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 is evidently a better option from
individual
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an individual
the individual
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 perspective.
In contrast
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, the provision of monetary outlays for retirees has proven unfeasible in many countries. Since in many nations the number of senior citizens is on the rise, in the long
run
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,run
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 governments are likely to struggle to sustain the cost of providing for the elderly. The early signs of
this
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 have been seen in many countries that were forced to raise the
retirement
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 age, including my home country where men can now retire at the age of 67
instead
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 of 65.
Therefore
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, in the foreseeable future, these kinds of support may become completely unsustainable. In conclusion, the provision of state monetary support may undoubtedly lessen the concern of retirees to some extent.
However
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, considering the issue of sustainability of
this
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 provision, it is better to opt for individual savings from the very beginning of working life, for the benefit of both individual and national development.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial support
  • retirement
  • government intervention
  • contribute to society
  • financial independence
  • safety net
  • personal responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • financial education
  • incentives
  • individual circumstances
  • sustainable
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