Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is clear to notice that
the
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in the

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last
tens
years
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of years

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the number of
people
flying by
the
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apply

It appears that the phrase by the plane includes an unnecessary article. Consider removing the from the sentence.

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plane is increased
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because the prices are fallen. In
this
essay
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,essay

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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we try to show
a
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the

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positive and negative
sides
Correct the article-noun agreement
side

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun sides in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of
this
phenomenon. On the one hand, growth of moving by plane has some benefits for us. Possibly, it solves a car problem. To give a clear example, most Kazakhstan
people
traveled
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travelled

The spelling of traveled is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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by car, so in some cities
such
as Almaty was a huge car traffics.
However
, today when the cost
flying
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of flying

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is accessible, there is less traffics in big cities. The
second
benefit is
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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development of tourism.
For instance
, when everyone has
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility

The noun phrase possibility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to buy
aviatickets
Correct your spelling
via tickets

The word aviatickets is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

it may improve tourism which is useful for
economy
Add an article
the economy

The noun phrase economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
country
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the country

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and
development
Correct article usage
the development

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of
people
.
On the other hand
, the given trend possibly leads to other problems. The
first
is a high
consumering
Correct your spelling
consumer
consuming
consumers

The word consumering is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

of petrol. It means that
people
will increase getting of oil
than
Correct your spelling
that

The word than doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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can cause different pollutions and other environmental issues. The
second
negative side is a risk of
catastrophy
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catastrophe

The word catastrophy is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

.
For example
, the rise of flying leads to increasing the
amount
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier the amount does not fit with the countable noun aviacatastrophies. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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of aviacatastrophies, as it was in Kazakhstan in 2020.
Thus
, the given trend can be dangerous. In conclusion, today because of
droping
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dropping

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prices of
aviatickets
Correct your spelling
via tickets

The word aviatickets is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

a lot of
people
can
easely
Correct your spelling
easily

The word easely is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

travel around the world.
However
, the trend has advantages
such
as decreasing
of
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apply

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the traffics and development of tourism as well as disadvantages like environmental challenges and risk of aviacatastrophies.
Submitted by Dana on

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

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