IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Graduates ho cannot find work in their chosen field should be advised to do a second degree, rather than taking a job that does not interest them.

#graduates #work #field #second #job #interest
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In today's competitive world, there are more difficult to get a satisfying
job
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 that fit each person and their lifestyle. Some students chose to study
further
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 in order to develop their level while others decided to work when they leave universities. In my opinion, the decision used to depends on each person financial status. Nowadays,
people
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 desire to have a wonderful life.
Money
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 is the main factor that can make their dream comes true.
This
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 is the biggest reason why many graduated students take a
job
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 sudden when they finished their course.
Although
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 they may get a lower rate of salaries than a doctorate
degree
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 got, they consider having plenty of time before retirement. Sadly, they cannot select their position and the kind of
job
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 freely.  Even though, working early can bring
people
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 more experience of working . A
second
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degree
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 may upgrade their profile for a direct field of their chosen major.
Moreover
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, they tend to get an advanced position and high wage but their parents need to pay an expensive tuition fee which means they need to have sufficient
money
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 to support expenses.
In addition
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, children can do their own businesses or part-time jobs for collecting an additional fund. In conclusion,
money
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 can give
people
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 a comfortable life.
Therefore
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, minority take a
job
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 that they do not interesting in for a huge amount of
money
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 for spending on their necessary things.
On the contrary
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, other groups of
people
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 agree to pay for a term cost for their doctorate
degree
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.
Consequently
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, they seem to get a better income and interesting occupation than
people
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 with a bachelors
degree
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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