IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It seems clear that obesity in today’s society is to some extent due to the availability of fast food. Should governments place a tax on fast food to reduce the amount of fast food consumed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#obesity #today’s #society #availability #food #governments #place #tax #amount
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do not like
eat
Fix the infinitive
to eat
show examples
home-made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
 cook . it can
seen
Change the verb form
be seen
see
show examples
 that a large number of
people
Use synonyms
are being affecting
Change the verb form
are affecting
show examples
 obesity by accessible fast foods
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the government should move to duty on
quick
Add an article
a quick
the quick
show examples
 meal in
order
Use synonyms
 to decrease the ratio of fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumed. I think
this
Linking Words
 is the best idea. In
this
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
, I will explicate the reason with the
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 instances in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the tax only can reduce the amount of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 eat. The lavy price will increase automatically the user will diminish because
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
 amount is
larged
Correct your spelling
large
larger
people
Use synonyms
 not
intrest
Correct your spelling
interested
interest
 to buy
as a result
Linking Words
, they have to return home-made
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ministry should place
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
duty for both the seller and the consumer in
order
Use synonyms
 to most of the
resturent
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 might be closed due to the
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 tax.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if the shops are not sold these kinds of
items
Use synonyms
 the population never have a chance to eat
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, a
recend
Correct your spelling
recent
 survey said that most of the 75% of the
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 has affected
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity because they only eat quick
meals
Use synonyms
 compare
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 late
meals
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the cabinet will put a duty on fast
food
Use synonyms
 while most the new organic
resturent
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 will open for
attaracting
Correct your spelling
attracting
 the customer in
order
Use synonyms
 to the individual can not obtain
unhealth
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
meals
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in India government always encourage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy foods for their citizens how they have increased the service tax of junk foods on
order
Use synonyms
 to fatness ratio is not much compared to western countries. To conclude, a healthy nation only can create
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 society irrefutably. The ministry should put lavy on detrimental
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to shrink the obesity amount. In the future strictly will
prohobit
Correct your spelling
prohibit
 these kinds of
meals
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
, we will create a healthy nation.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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