IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extend do you agree?

#development #communication #people #friends
I believe that even though the
internet
 has made communicating easy we still remain lonely and it is getting harder to befriend
people
.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will look at why we cannot
trust
 and befriend everybody online and
secondly
, I will explain how the
internet
 has failed to connect
people
. The crux of any relationship is
trust
, and unfortunately trusting everybody online is naive to a fault. The anonymity afforded by the
internet
 has made it all too easy for anybody to create a
fictious
Correct your spelling
fictitious
 identity, one might argue that there are checks and balances but, these are far from being foolproof. Using image editing software a person with basic computer skills can forge almost any document. It is little wonder; our news feeds are peppered with numerous accounts of online frauds and identity theft. Almost
everyone
 who has an email address will be familiar with the “Nigerian prince email”. I do not advocate that
everyone
 online is committing fraud but we cannot blindly
trust
everyone
 on the World Wide Web.
On the other hand
, it is presumptuous to assume that the
internet
 has reached
everyone
. Many developing countries still struggle with necessities, let alone have an interrupted supply of electricity. Having
internet
 access is considered a luxury.
Secondly
, the majority of
people
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas are not computer literate and will be unable to use the
internet
 even if they have access. It would be foolhardy to assume that “
everyone
” is connected to the
internet
 as can be seen with the
people
 living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural India. In conclusion, owing to the lack of
trust
 we remain sceptical of the
people
 that we have met online these connections are mere acquaintances
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 “friends”, to compound matters the access to the
internet
 is not universal. I
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
entirely disagree with the statement.
Submitted by Musaib ul hassan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical gaps
  • interact
  • social media platforms
  • messaging apps
  • revolutionized
  • physical distance
  • online communities
  • camaraderie
  • immediate surroundings
  • unparalleled opportunities
  • superficial relationships
  • excessive reliance
  • emotional warmth
  • tactile comfort
  • digital communication
  • digital divide
  • internet censorship
  • global connectivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: