In many countries, senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the employees are often salaried according to their position in the sector. There are some people
think
that all Correct pronoun usage
who think
staff
could be paid equally. I totally disagree this
view as position and work experience need to be taken into accountChange preposition
with this
,
while fixing the salary package.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, senior positions come with a lot of responsibilities and work load
. Their performance greatly responsible for the success or failure of the firm so they require working hard to ensure the smooth functioning of the office. Correct your spelling
workload
For example
, Ellon Musk, he
is the CEO Correct pronoun usage
apply
Tesla
, he works around 18 hours a dayChange preposition
of Tesla
,
and sacrifices his personal life for the benefits of the company. By considering, all these, Remove the comma
apply
staff
who held in Change the determiner
staffs
thetop
-level deserve better wages than anybody else.
Correct your spelling
the top
Secondly
, if the senior staff
may not be paid with good remuneration, certainly, this
diminishes their work morale, and they rarely dedicate themselves for
the Change preposition
to
company'
s growth. Correct your spelling
company
This
may damage the sector's profit. Since junior staff
tend have
less experience and skill to drive the company Add the particle
to have
into
Change preposition
in
right
direction. Add an article
the right
Therefore
, as seniors contribution is immense, they should be highly salaried.
In conclusion, difference
in the pay scale often creates argument among people. Add an article
the difference
However
, in my opinion, salary need to be provided based on the position of the employee as each job titles come with increasing
amount of workloadAdd an article
an increasing
the increasing
Submitted by Sal on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite