IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. Do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income
With
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 needs
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 materialistic things, there is an exponential
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 to the list of basic necessities.
However
, people
claimed
Correct pronoun usage
who claimed
show examples
 to have wisdom cite them as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of patience. I do not adhere to the concept of prioritising high
income
 while making decisions related to
career
Correct pronoun usage
my career
show examples
. To start with, every job
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 promises some
income
 but as experience grows, the
income
 increases too. One can excel in the field of his knowledge or interest, and if we opt for
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
 position
instead
 of
career
Add an article
the career
a career
show examples
 of our interest, we might not progress in later years.
For example
, we have seen many students from reputed college ruining their
career
 just because they thought, having big bank balances is a notion of success.
Secondly
, some companies
offer
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to experiment and grow but might not
offer
 fat salaries. Not all corporations
offer
 out of the box work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have a standardised work culture which makes you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
adapt their style of working and have a limited opportunity to grow.
For instance
, startups might not
offer
 you a hefty paycheck but one can become head of operations in few years.
Summarising
Change preposition
To summarising
show examples
, the content of my argument
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 one must look into various other factors apart from takehome salary while choosing their
career
. Investing in
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 is a long term affair and must not be factored only on
income
.
Submitted by shubham_aggarwal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: