In many countries, senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree

#countries #positions #salaries #workers #company #people #isn’t

Nowadays, the employees are often salaried according to their position. There are some people

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

show examples

that all

staff

could be paid equally. I totally disagree

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

view as position and work experience need to be taken into account

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while fixing the salary package.

Firstly

, senior positions come with a lot of responsibilities and workload. Their performance greatly responsible for the success or failure of the firm so they required to work hard to ensure the smooth functioning of the office.

For example

, Ellon Musk,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the CEO

Tesla

Change preposition

of Tesla

show examples

, he works around 18 hours a day

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and sacrifices his personal life for the benefits of the

company

. By considering, all these,

staff

Change the determiner

staffs

show examples

who held in the top-level deserve a better wage package than lower-class workers.

Secondly

, if the senior

staff

may not be paid with good remuneration, certainly, they rarely dedicate themselves

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

company

's growth. The

senoir

Correct your spelling

senior

staff

they

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

have a rich working experience and skills, utilize their ability to empower the

company

. When everyone pays equally, they may feel that they are insignificant in the

company

This

may damage work morale, eventually, workers may not contribute

for

Change preposition

show examples

the employer benefits. Since the junior

staff

have less experience and skill, they hardly drive the

company

into

Change preposition

show examples

the right direction.

Therefore

, as seniors contribution is immense, they should be highly salaried. In conclusion, differences in the pay scale often create argument among people.

However

, in my opinion, salary

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be provided based on the position of the employee as each job titles come with

increasing

Add an article

an increasing

the increasing

show examples

amount of workload.

Submitted by Sal on Fri May 07 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people believe that there should be ristriction on some dangerous sports while other believe ther should be a freed do any activity or sport. discuss both view and give your own opinion.

As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The internet will bring about a new freedom of information and so narrow the technology gap between developed and developing countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.