In many countries, senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn’t justified. Do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, the employees are often salaried according to their position. There are some people
think
that all Correct pronoun usage
who think
staff
could be paid equally. I totally disagree this
view as position and work experience need to be taken into accountChange preposition
with this
,
while fixing the salary package.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, senior positions come with a lot of responsibilities and workload. Their performance greatly responsible for the success or failure of the firm so they required to work hard to ensure the smooth functioning of the office. For example
, Ellon Musk, he
is the CEO Correct pronoun usage
apply
Tesla
, he works around 18 hours a dayChange preposition
of Tesla
,
and sacrifices his personal life for the benefits of the Remove the comma
apply
company
. By considering, all these, staff
who held in the top-level deserve a better wage package than lower-class workers.
Change the determiner
staffs
Secondly
, if the senior staff
may not be paid with good remuneration, certainly, they rarely dedicate themselves for
the Change preposition
to
company
's growth. The senoir
Correct your spelling
senior
staff
, they
have a rich working experience and skills, utilize their ability to empower the Correct pronoun usage
who
company
. When everyone pays equally, they may feel that they are insignificant in the company
. This
may damage work morale, eventually, workers may not contribute for
the employer benefits. Since the junior Change preposition
to
staff
have less experience and skill, they hardly drive the company
into
the right direction. Change preposition
in
Therefore
, as seniors contribution is immense, they should be highly salaried.
In conclusion, differences in the pay scale often create argument among people. However
, in my opinion, salary need
to be provided based on the position of the employee as each job titles come with Change the verb form
needs
increasing
amount of workload.Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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