Many animals are endangered.So me think that the government is responsible while other think that individual should act.Do you agree or dis agree?

#animals #government #act #dis

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There are many animals

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

critically endangered, due to humans’ activities. There are some

people

who think that the government is responsible, the

opponets

Correct your spelling

opponents

consider it is the responsibility of individuals. I, firmly, believe the governmental authority needs to take necessary actions to counteract the issues effectively.

Firstly

, as humans expand their habituation to forests, which

results

Add the preposition

inresults

fromresults

show examples

the destruction of natural habitats of many flora and fauna. Eventually, they face extinction from the face of the earth.

Similarly

, many ill-legal hunters and poachers kill or

exploite

Correct your spelling

exploit

exploited

our natural resource for either for medicine, logging or fashion industries.

For example

, the elephant is declining all over the world

as a result

of habitat destruction and poaching.

Therefore

, it is clear that these kinds of activities to be controlled.

Secondly

people

should be made aware of the consequences of their actions. For

this

, they need to be educated, how to use

available

Add an article

the available

an available

show examples

resource in a better manner, rather than exploiting

further

. Apart from

this

, teach them to use green energies, reduce food miles by using local produces, reduce carbon footprint. By doing

this

, another point here is that, professionally guided breeding programmes at zoo or

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of national parks. These are the proven methods, have been implemented all over the world. In conclusion,

people

have a different

opinon

Correct your spelling

opinion

on who should take action to protect our environment as well as animals. I, firmly, consider that the authority should make

plan

Add an article

a plan

show examples

of action to handle

this

since they have enough resources and

people

to implement

this

Submitted by Sal on Mon May 10 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Many animals are endangered.So me think that the government is responsible while other think that individual should act.Do you agree or dis agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

nation apply tax for high population do you agree OR disagree