IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #“do #activities #student’s #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Exercise is an important aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 staying fit and living a healthy
life
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, it is imperative for kids to get involved in sports or exercise
besides
Linking Words
 studies to create a balance in
life
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with the notion and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will support my views. Juveniles spend their
time
Use synonyms
 incorporating a lot of information
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their minds at a very swift speed.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential for students to relax. Exercises or outdoor
games
Use synonyms
 are key elements that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in increasing mental strength and bring out mental peace. To support
this
Linking Words
 claim, a recent study illustrated the adolescents who love to dance or play soccer are happier than the kids who are book worms.
Moreover
Linking Words
, extra-curricular activities help in raising the IQ of young
children
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it makes
children
Use synonyms
 fit for upcoming competitions like
spelling
Add an article
a spelling
show examples
 bee or science and technology. Another impelling reason is communication.
Children
Use synonyms
 these days prefer to spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 on electronic gadgets rather than going out.
This
Linking Words
 has eventually dwindled the social
life
Use synonyms
 of every kid.
Additionally
Linking Words
, spending more
time
Use synonyms
 on mobile phones or play stations have a petrifying effect on health. Obesity or weak eyesight are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of the repercussions of playing
games
Use synonyms
 on electronic devices.
Conversely
Linking Words
, there are few cons attached to the outdoor
games
Use synonyms
 that should
also
Linking Words
 be considered.
Children
Use synonyms
 going out
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 a greater possibility to get attached to bad influence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, like
this
Linking Words
 unprecedented situation
life
Use synonyms
 Covid spread, it is highly recommended for
children
Use synonyms
 to spend their entire
time
Use synonyms
 indoors. In conclusion, kids extract a lot of mental strength and boost their IQ with the help of exercise or outdoor
games
Use synonyms
. Our education system should equally emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
extra-curricular activities as much as we stress on studies.
Submitted by atifcric08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: