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Band 5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
There is no doubt that crime rates have dramatically increased over the
last
 few years. Some criminals can manage themselves to become good human beings while their stay in prisons. One of the main reasons is that they have practically seen the problems and sacrifice they had to make.
However
, a fair amount of
people
 think that these are the best examples of creating
the
Correct article usage
apply
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awareness about
about
Remove the redundancy
apply
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crimes in teenagers. I personally agree with the statement and the following essay will discuss
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 details
about
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apply
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it.
To begin
 with, it is a fact that the public usually has negative images
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
ex-prisoners, but not all of them have a bad personality.
Firstly
, it is the duty of the government and the
people
 to identify the aspects of
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 in teenagers. After that, there should be workshop and seminars which should enhance the consequences of committing
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 through the captives.
Secondly
, due to the experiences obtained as long as running punishment, they seem to become
a suitable speakers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a suitable speaker
suitable speakers
show examples
 to tell the teens about the difficulties that might be faced when living in a prison.
For example
, most western countries
are followed
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have followed
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these idea
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this idea
these ideas
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 for their minor folks
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to
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become
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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good citizens through the ex-culprit experience.
Furthermore
,
people
 who have been punished by the law would benefit from
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 arrangements as well. They would feel better by sharing their stories and
this
 is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way to stay away from
Add an article
the offense
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offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
 for these
people
.
Moreover
, they would
also
 feel connected to
the
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apply
show examples
society and would be glad for doing something good. In ,addition, alternative ways of educating
young
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the young
a young
show examples
 person about the danger of accomplishing a misdeed are allowing teachers
educate
Fix the infinitive
to educate
show examples
 students would treat those as class lectures, not the
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 stories to listen to carefully. Educating students through stories and films can
also
 be effective but they are not as
much
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apply
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interactive as
session
Add an article
a session
the session
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 with
ex-
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the ex-
show examples
 culprit. To conclude, irrefutably we should hate misdeed, not the lawbreaker as they are
also
 the human being and we should educate our younger generation about the consequences of accomplishing misdeed and I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 they would learn
this
 better from reformed lawbreakers who
speaks
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speak
show examples
 from their experience.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
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