Some people think that governments should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a widespread belief that states ought to restrict funding of the
arts
sector
in order to heavily support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government services. Personally, I completely disagree and opine that culture funding should be fully supported by the state since it provides major economic and social benefits for the country and the society on
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole. One point to consider is that
arts
funding is a lucrative investment that makes strong economic sense. Not only is the culture
sector
a productive industry and a major employer, but it is
also
a crucial source of inspiration and education for increasingly important creative industries, be it tourism, IT, or
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
industry.
Thus
, insufficient funding of
this
significant employment and industrial
sector
will be harmful to the whole economy. Another point to consider is that the vibrant cultural
sector
has a positive impact on the emotional and mental health of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
That is
because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
lack of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exposure to the
arts
can lead to problems in children’s development,
such
as lowered intelligence, lower academic performance, problems with social interaction and concentration.
This
Which in turn inevitably leads to diverse social problems,
such
as poor psychological health, lower intellectual ability, poor critical thinking, intolerance, violence.
This
is why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
UNESCO states that access to culture is a basic human right. In conclusion, I am convinced that the government’s funding of the
arts
should be not less than the funding of the public services.
This
is because, having
fully
Correct article usage
a fully
show examples
supported
arts
sector
allows the country to have significant economic growth, as well as gives the ability to prevent the occurrence of various social illnesses that
otherwise
would occur.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!