IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that governments should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #services #money #arts #music #paintings
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There is a widespread belief that states ought to restrict funding of the
arts
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sector
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 in order to heavily support
the
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apply
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government services. Personally, I completely disagree and opine that culture funding should be fully supported by the state since it provides major economic and social benefits for the country and the society on
in
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the whole. One point to consider is that
arts
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 funding is a lucrative investment that makes strong economic sense. Not only is the culture
sector
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 a productive industry and a major employer, but it is
also
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 a crucial source of inspiration and education for increasingly important creative industries, be it tourism, IT, or
film
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the film
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 industry.
Thus
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, insufficient funding of
this
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 significant employment and industrial
sector
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 will be harmful to the whole economy. Another point to consider is that the vibrant cultural
sector
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 has a positive impact on the emotional and mental health of
the
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society.
That is
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 because
the
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they
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 lack of
the
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exposure to the
arts
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 can lead to problems in children’s development,
such
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 as lowered intelligence, lower academic performance, problems with social interaction and concentration.
This
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 Which in turn inevitably leads to diverse social problems,
such
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 as poor psychological health, lower intellectual ability, poor critical thinking, intolerance, violence.
This
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 is why
,
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 UNESCO states that access to culture is a basic human right. In conclusion, I am convinced that the government’s funding of the
arts
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 should be not less than the funding of the public services.
This
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 is because, having
fully
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a fully
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 supported
arts
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sector
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 allows the country to have significant economic growth, as well as gives the ability to prevent the occurrence of various social illnesses that
otherwise
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 would occur.
Submitted by Nataliia Litovchenko on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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