IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Research shows that overeating is as harmful to people's health as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of certain food products should be banned, as the ads of cigarettes are banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#research #people #health #advertisements #food #products #ads #cigarettes
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Many research
prove
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proves
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 that
over consumption
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overconsumption
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 of
food
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 is dangerous to
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
human beings
 it is injurious to pupils health like smoking. The advertisements of certain
for instance
Linking Words
 burger, pasta, maggie should be banned. Those products increase fatal diseases. I
am agree
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agree
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to
Change preposition
with
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 the notion. To start with, research prow that in the U.S.A.
Majority
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The majority
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 of
people
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 cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health issue. Because they don't eat good
nuturient
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nutrient
 quality
food
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. They like to eat fast
food
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apply
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food
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. American
people
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 are fat as compare to the ratio of
another nations
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another nation
other nations
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. Americans need
tto
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to
 learn
food
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 habits from
Japan
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Japanese
show examples
people
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. They are totally different from
USA
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the USA
show examples
 eating
food
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 habit. Japanese
people
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 like to eat their traditional
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of junk
food
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. Their
restrorent
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restaurant
 menu Contain the
food
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 package
likewise
Linking Words
hom
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home
prepared
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prepares
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 dishes.
broshing
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brushing
broaching
 ahead, the advertisements of fast
food
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 must be banned.
becaus
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because
 it can increase the
encouragment
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encouragement
 in teenagers.
Then
Linking Words
 the
consumpte
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consumption
toxic
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of toxic
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food
Use synonyms
 increases. It
lecids
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leads
i
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I
show examples
 toxicity in the human body, with t voluntary workers. they aware
the
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of the
show examples
benifits
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benefits
 of
nutvrtint
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nutrient
 value
produc
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product
 to the majority of
people
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. To
vrecaptulized
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recapitalized
,
people
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 amare about their health. they pay attention
toward
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to
show examples
 the healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by ieltsspeaking760 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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