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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
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INFORMATION CONCERNING HOW THE EXPENDITURE OF A SCHOOL IN THE UK CHANGES ACROSS THE YEARS 1981, 1991 AND 2001 IS DEPICTED IN THE GIVEN PIE CHARTS.
OVERALL
Linking Words
, WHAT IS NOTABLE IS THAT, IN EACH OF THE YEARS, THE CATEGORY WHICH RECEIVED MORE FUNDING THAN ANY OTHER WAS
TEACHER'S
Fix the agreement mistake
TEACHERS'
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SALARIES
Use synonyms
,
WHEREAS
Linking Words
 THE SMALLEST AMOUNT OF MONEY WENT TOWARD INSURANCE. AS PER THE CHART, FROM 1981 TO 1991, TEACHERS'
SALARIES
Use synonyms
 GREW BY 10% TO ACCOUNT FOR HALF OF ALL SPENDING.
IN CONTRAST
Linking Words
, NON-TEACHING
PERSONELS'
Correct your spelling
PERSONNEL'
SALARIES
Use synonyms
 FELL FROM 28% TO JUST OVER A FIFTH (22%) IN THE GIVEN PERIOD. 30% OF THE EXPENSES WAS DIVIDED EQUALLY BETWEEN RESOURCES AND FURNITURE AND EQUIPMENT, BUT THE FORMER'S SHARE INCREASED BY 5% IN 1991,
WHILE
Linking Words
 THE LATTER'S DROPPED BY 1O) PER CENT. THE BUDGET ALLOCATED FOR INSURANCE INCREASED NEGLIGIBLY FROM 2 PERCENTAGE POINTS TO ONLY 3%. BETWEEN 1991 AND 2001, THE BUDGET RATE ALLOCATED FOR INSURANCE AND FURNITURE AND EQUIPMENT ROSE BY 5% AND 15%, RESPECTIVELY.
THIS
Linking Words
 TREND IS
OPPOSITE
Correct article usage
THE OPPOSITE
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 IN THE CASE OF TEACHING AND NON-TEACHING STAFF
SALARIES
Use synonyms
 AND RESOURCES WHERE
ITS
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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FUNDING DECLINED AT A RANGE OF 5 AND 11 PERCENTAGE POINTS.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • educational expenditure
  • financial management
  • infrastructure investment
  • evolution of costs
  • annual spending
  • strategic funding
  • capital outlay
  • operational costs
  • resource allocation
  • fiscal trends
  • cost analysis
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