IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.Discuss both these views.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
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The topic about educating
boys
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 and
girls
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 in different
school
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 is the thing that
people
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 discuss the most,
beacause
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because
 half of the comments believed that putting
boys
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 and
girls
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 in the same
school
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 can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 more benefits than
sperating
Correct your spelling
separating
sporting
 them, but the other half protest that idea. The
easey
Correct your spelling
essay
 below will show you the advantages and disadvantages in both views. For
people
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 who follow the opinion that having the
boys
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 and
girls
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 study
sperately
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separately
 in two
difference
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different
show examples
. The advantages of
this
Linking Words
 idea are you can reduce the
amount
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number
show examples
 of pregnant teenagers, and
teenager
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teenage
show examples
 abortion, which
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affect
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effect
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affect
show examples
 a lot in the health of the
girls
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. Pregnant at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young age can lead to a lot of health problems. More than that, there are just
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teen
girls
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can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
show examples
 come through that hard time and if the government know, the older person in the relationship can be in jail or re-education camp.
However
Linking Words
, the gender issues can be grown, because they have to meet
people
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with
Change preposition
of
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 the same gender for
long
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a long
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 period of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
countinueing
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continuing
 to allow
boys
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 and
girls
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studied
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to study
show examples
 in the same
school
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, is a thing that
people
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 have done since we started having schools. Studied together can help students developed the communication skills better, can have
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of friends. Despite the advantages of that,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 still contains a lot of things that can be out of control of the teachers which can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
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affect
show examples
 the students future and the reputation of the
school
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. In conclusion, both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 its own benefits, we can not conclude which is better because
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 depending on the thought of each person.
Submitted by Nguyễn Hoàng Hiếu Linh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
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