Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

The table illustrates the information about the percentage of student who
attend
Change the verb form
attends
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4 various
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
of Secondary School from 2000 to 2009 Overall, it clear from the table that three out of four in the number of student specialists
schools
, grammar
schools
, voluntary-controlled
schools
decreased gradually. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
only community
schools
increased remarkably in the same period.
Firstly
, in 2000 Voluntary-controlled
schools
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
the majority of students at more than half of all students but it’s gradually decreased to 38% and 20% in 2005 and 2009 respectively.
Similarly
, grammar
schools
steadily reduced from 24% in 2000 to 12% in 2009 while specialists
schools
percentage
also
reduced slightly from 12% in 2000 to 10% in 2009
However
, there was only 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of students community
schools
in 2000 but after five years, student attendance rate dramatic grow to 32% and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
then
surge to reach the highest point of 58% in 2009
Submitted by perth22july on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: