IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The number of older people is increasing. Some people think it will cause the problem to their countries, others believe this group is important to society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that in the coming
years
Change to a genitive case
year's
years'
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 would use the Internet to read newspapers and books rather than buying the printed materials.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the statement because soft copies of newspapers and magazines are convenient to use and prevent deforestation to some extent.
Firstly
Linking Words
, papers are heavier when in bundles and difficult to use while
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, and they are
space consuming
Add a hyphen
space-consuming
show examples
. The soft copies of books and newspapers can be read on multiple devices and can be used by their preferences.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could read any materials published anywhere in the world, which would be difficult to get in the print
form
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 in India read the Guardian, the Times, etc in e-paper
form
Use synonyms
, which wouldn’t have been possible if they had to depend on the hard copies. So, in the future
people
Use synonyms
 would be using online media to read than the printed media for their convenience.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of trees are being cut to make paper, and using the digital
form
Use synonyms
 would prevent the cutting of the woods.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, once someone
finish
Change the verb form
finishes
show examples
 reading the online
form
Use synonyms
 of the books, it can be deleted, whereas the papers would stay in the environment and would cause pollution even if it is recycled.
For instance
Linking Words
, an article in India Today showed, most of the trees and bamboos were cut in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade for making paper.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in the future would use less paper to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. To conclude, I completely support the use of the Internet for reading than printed forms, as it helps to prevent the clearing of the woodlands and is very useful to read any materials published on the planet, as well as could be used anywhere at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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