IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

#years #governments #laws #ban #places #bars #restaurants #offices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some governments have prohibited smoking in
public
Add an article
a public
the public
show examples
 community like in workplace, restaurants and so on. I strongly agree with banning smoking in public
places
 because of some reasons and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will support my view with examples. Smoking causes 90 per cent of all lung cancer deaths but we should bear in mind that
smoke
 does not just affect the smoker, but
also
 other people around the smoker. It releases toxic chemicals into the air like arsenic and
benzane
Correct your spelling
benzene
 which turn non-smokers into victims.
For instance
, imagine someone is smoking inside a restaurant, it is not very pleasant or healthy to smell
smoke
 while eating in the same place.
Moreover
, smoking creates a poor environment to study or work.
In other words
,
smoke
 can be a distraction as some people like to study in
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 or work in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 without being annoyed with
second
-hand
smoke
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 workplace will be affected as some employees
smoke
 while working disturbing the other employees who do not want to be annoyed with
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
smoke
.
On the other hand
, some argue that forbid on smoking is against the rights of a smoker. They say it is not against the law, so individuals should have the freedom to
smoke
 wherever they wish.
In addition
, they believe a ban would possibly drive many bars and pubs out of business since a significant number of bar’s customers are smokers. To sum up, smoking increases health risks and I believe that it should be banned in public
places
. Banning smoking in public
places
 can reduce the number of death and disease infection.
However
, there should be special
places
 where smokers can
smoke
 freely.
Submitted by azin.ra97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: