The amount of violence in computer games, TV programmes and other leisure activities have increased and, as a result, parents are worried about the effect this is having on their children. How harmful is this development? What can be done to address this situation?

There has been an increase in the number of
people
who utilize technological advancements
such
as television, desktops or mobile phones. As a consequence, they easily face some inconvenient programmes or
games
for which parents concern about their kids who expose these violence other harmful effects.
This
essay will show you to what extend hazardous these situations and what can be done about
this
.
First
of all, over the fifteen years, technology has become an inevitable requirement for
people
from every walks of life.
However
, numerous content, which can pose a risk for some adolescent, have got easy. Inherently, a youth who wasted time playing war
games
can show a predisposition to severity.
Moreover
, some consequences can create social unrest or children can inflict their counterparts.
For instance
,
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an investigation conducted by a famous foundation have put forward that ninety per cent of convict
people
have watched some mafia shows or played detrimental
games
.
On the other hand
, the effects of these negative programmes or video
games
should be decreased by the government in tandem with parents. As a matter of fact, nobody can zero out the outcomes of these,
nevertheless
, authorizations should work with determination.
For instance
, the unfit shows can come out some specific hours after juveniles went to bed.
In addition
, mothers can set up a rule to their offsprings that they can play the
games
until one hour, which means that those who play the war thematic
games
will not be badly harmed. In light of
this
information mentioned above, it can be clearly said that the public cannot be away from high-tech advancements and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
hazards. Yet, if judicious
people
take strict measures
then
the adverse result can be alleviated for us.
Submitted by Burak on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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