Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often
arged
Correct your spelling
argued
that the nations with a
proloned
Correct your spelling
prolonged
working
time
will get more prosperous rather than a few
hours
working
time
countries. I strongly disagree with
this
statement because
overlonged
Correct your spelling
overlong
working
time
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not measure the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
wealth compared to the many factors
such
as
Technology
and
people
's
quality
of
life
I think these two factors are determined.
To begin
with, the most important consideration is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Technology
.
This
means nowadays the most companies are used modern
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
in order to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reduce the number of workers and they invest more machinery rather than
people
because the machinery can
work
without taking break and speed. It can lead to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
more productivity even employee not working expanded
time
while the enterprise can get more benefit
such
as profit, a large number of production.
For instance
, with the introduction of modern
technology
machinery system in Wulanssi
Organaisation
Correct your spelling
Organization
in Germany, both the employer and employees have gained mutual benefits. While the employee
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
fewer working
hours
per day and the
organaisation
Correct your spelling
organisation
organization
can generate
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
amount of
quality
products on
a daily basics
Correct the article-noun agreement
daily basic
show examples
.
Moreover
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason is
people
's
quality
of
life
.
This
means the labour health
life
is most important rather than prolonged working
time
because the labour is the blood of every enterprise.
In other words
, the
low level
Add a hyphen
low-level
show examples
people
in the organisation might get stress and depression due to
overlonged
Correct your spelling
overlong
practice
as a result
,
this
trend will affect the productivity of the industry. While the member of staff can not focus on their job
as a result
,
this
will affect the
quality
of the product
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, the country welfare
is not only decide
Change the verb form
is not only decided
show examples
the working
hours
but
also
the
people
's
quality
of
life
.
For example
, some European countries
such
as Sweden and Finland value
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
balance the workers of these countries
work
the fewest
hours
per day
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
all nations around the world, they have
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
gross domestic product. The family
time
and social
life
people
enjoy after
work
provide them with sufficient
time
to rejuvenate
therefore
, they experience less
work
strain. To conclude, the saying that longer working
hours
can lead to higher revenue is a misconception. I believe that with the development of
technology
and
work
-
life
balance can be assured of more economic
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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