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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the most important aspect of their job is their salary. Others think that the job itself is the most important. What do you think is the most important aspect of a job? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

#people #aspect #job #salary #support #choice
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There are often multiple factors that influence a
career
 path of an employee. In my opinion, competitive salary and professional development are
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 most important aspects of an occupation. I shall put forth my points to demonstrate
this
 view in the following paragraphs. Admittedly, having a stable and
high income
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
career
 is something that the majority of workers strive for. A compatible payment will help an officer purchase houses, secure a higher living standard and eventually have a better quality of life.
Moreover
, when professionals can reduce financial burden, they can focus better on their works with higher productivity and achieve greater achievements in their fields. To demonstrate my point, many Vietnamese healthcare professionals often have
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs at private clinics to gain higher incomes because their monthly payments at public hospitals are often insufficient to cover all living expenses.
In contrast
, physicians in developed countries tend to have competitive wages which encourage them to perform medical practices only at governmental medical
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, a challenging
career
 with great opportunities for personal and professional development is an essential factor that keeps excellent employees stay longer in their careers. In fact, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
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 graduates tend to choose exciting jobs to earn more practical experiences compared to high paid works after their graduations.
Nonetheless
, it will be more attractive to work in an area where we can make a difference and gain broader skillsets. There are many examples that experts or CEOs of global corporations quitted their jobs to start new careers. In conclusion, attractive wage and
career
 development are two critical factors that many people will consider when choosing
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 careers.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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