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Writing Samples
Band 4

Living in large cities today's poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in a smaller town.

#cities #people #governments #town
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Nowadays, more and more
people
 live in
cities
 in comparison to the past.
This
 trend will likely continue in future.
This
 has caused many
problems
 for urban dwellers,
such
 as overcrowding and sicknesses. The
government
 should make some great strides in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 terms to encourage
people
 to live in suburb areas
instead
 of metropolises and makes more attractions in those areas.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
problems
, which have arisen due to
this
 phenomenon and measures which should be taken by the
government
 to solve or ease these
problems
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a wide range of drawbacks, which associated with the  rise of modern
cities
, but one of the most obvious
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population  density.
This
For instance
, the cost of living has increased considerably in
cities
, which leads to
people
 willingly work overtime and place themselves under these unfavourable conditions.
Moreover
, the  workplace is a competitive domain and
people
 have to devote more time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their work to meet their needs. In
cities
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 population has increased extremely,
people
 usually can not afford their basic needs, which caused a number of
problems
 for individuals. Admittedly, living in
cities
 can bring a lot of advantages for individuals
such
 as job opportunities on more practical educational facilities, but nearly most of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 living in
cities
 often suffer from sicknesses, which often caused by
estress
Correct your spelling
stress
. Unfortunately, stress is one of the
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 infecting to mental and physical disease, which leave a damaging effect on children's future. One of the most crucial
duty
Change to a plural noun
duties
show examples
 of the
government
 in
this
 trem is providing  more practical facilities in suburbs to hinder
this
 amount of
emmigration
Correct your spelling
immigration
emigration
 to
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
show examples
cities
.
Furthermore
, the
government
 should improve
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 situation of
people
 living in suburbs by making more desirable job opportunities, which play a momentous role in encouraging
people
 to live in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 areas. In conclusion, I am convinced that if the
government
 takes a number of practical measures
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
 can be solved or eased. According to the above analyses.
Submitted by godbaman93 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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