IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Living in large cities today's poses many problems for people. What are these problems? Should governments encourage more people to live in a smaller town.

#cities #people #governments #town
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Nowadays, more and more
people
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 live in
cities
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 in comparison to the past.
This
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 trend will likely continue in future.
This
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 has caused many
problems
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 for urban dwellers,
such
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 as overcrowding and sicknesses. The
government
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 should make some great strides in
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 terms to encourage
people
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 to live in suburb areas
instead
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 of metropolises and makes more attractions in those areas.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
the
problems
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, which have arisen due to
this
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 phenomenon and measures which should be taken by the
government
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 to solve or ease these
problems
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. There
are
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is
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 a wide range of drawbacks, which associated with the  rise of modern
cities
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, but one of the most obvious
issue
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issues
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 is related to
the
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apply
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population  density.
This
Linking Words
For instance
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, the cost of living has increased considerably in
cities
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, which leads to
people
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 willingly work overtime and place themselves under these unfavourable conditions.
Moreover
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, the  workplace is a competitive domain and
people
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 have to devote more time
for
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to
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 their work to meet their needs. In
cities
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that
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the
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 population has increased extremely,
people
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 usually can not afford their basic needs, which caused a number of
problems
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 for individuals. Admittedly, living in
cities
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 can bring a lot of advantages for individuals
such
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 as job opportunities on more practical educational facilities, but nearly most of
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people
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the people
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 living in
cities
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 often suffer from sicknesses, which often caused by
estress
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stress
. Unfortunately, stress is one of the
main
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the main
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 reason
of
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for
show examples
 infecting to mental and physical disease, which leave a damaging effect on children's future. One of the most crucial
duty
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duties
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 of the
government
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 in
this
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 trem is providing  more practical facilities in suburbs to hinder
this
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 amount of
emmigration
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immigration
emigration
 to
mega
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megacities
show examples
cities
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.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 should improve
financial
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the financial
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 situation of
people
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 living in suburbs by making more desirable job opportunities, which play a momentous role in encouraging
people
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 to live in
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 areas. In conclusion, I am convinced that if the
government
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 takes a number of practical measures
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
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 can be solved or eased. According to the above analyses.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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