IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behaviour #action
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Nowadays,
This
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 is becoming a trend to
purchase
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 luxurious things.
However
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,
People
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 get to be in debt because of buying goods that they do not need and could not buy. There may be various reasons for
this
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 attitude like competition, social tradition, greed and marketing tactics are the influencing factors for
such
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 a trend and Some logical preventions can be taken to prevent it. Many physiological factors motivate a person to
purchase
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 luxurious goods. For some consumers, a luxury good can go a long way in increasing self-esteem or providing a sense of belonging. They believe that they can impress others by showing their wealth.
Moreover
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, fancy advertisements
also
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 attract
people
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 to
purchase
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 secondary items like fashion, jewellery and gadget.
Lastly
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, as applying for and obtaining
credit
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cards
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 is more effortless these days, many
people
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 buy expensive items that are greater than their income. As a consequence of
this
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 hedonistic lifestyle, many
people
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 are ended up with a severe problem of debts. There are several things that
people
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 could do to solve the problem. One of them is that there should be a clear regulation about
credit
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cards
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 that must be followed by banks and financial institutions, regarding the procedure of issuing
credit
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cards
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 to their consumers. It must be ensured that the
credit
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 limit
that is
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 given to
credit
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 card holders is aligned with the individual’s income. And
then
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,
instead
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 of adding more malls in the city, the government should focus on building more public parks and children playgrounds.
Therefore
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,
people
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 would have more options for entertainments
besides
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 going to the shopping centres. In conclusion, it is true that a lot of
people
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 are having debt problems, as they
purchase
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 luxurious stuff and having fancy lifestyles. Some of the factors that trigger the problem
are
Correct your spelling
area
show examples
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the effect of social media, the increasing number of shopping malls and the easier procedure in obtaining
credit
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cards
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. And to solve the issue, the government should make a better regulation about
credit
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 card usage and build more public facilities;
therefore
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people
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 have more alternative places to visit
beside
Correct your spelling
besides
show examples
 malls.
Submitted by skshikhakochar on

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