IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that it is better too educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
Even though we have reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the heights of
moon
Add an article
the moon
show examples
, our stereotypes are still as low as muddy paddles.
Aa
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
 a result of these stereotypes, some
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 to differentiate in genders in terms of education. People who bid for separate educational institutions in terms of gender ofter point to the disciplined life. They believe, if pupils are taught separately they will be more dedicated and concentrated towards studies and will not be distracted,
Also
 some
students
 being shy from the opposite genders, can open up properly in separate schools.
However
, many people argue that everyone should be taught in some school, the same environment and
hence
, they believe, co-ed institutions should be promoted . Everyone should be given equal and fair education. There should be a fundamental approach towards education, teaching
students
 not to discriminate between genders.
Moreover
,
students
 are able to understand each other and be good friends, breaking the stereotypes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There have been numerous examples, that
students
 are able to learn new activities with the helo of each other. For instances, a boy who is good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 football has influenced many girls to take part in sports and vice-a-versa.
Finally
, I believe schools should be those ideal institutions teaching the younger generations to be more open-minded and unbiased towards anyone rather than themselves building differences in gender by separate schools for girls and boys
Submitted by varinder on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: