IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
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To begin
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 with, nowadays
cars
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 have become the major method of
transport
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 in
cities
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 and metropolises because using them is fast and comfortable, and the one does not
affected
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affect
show examples
 by the weather. Unfortunately, there are several problems caused by overusing
cars
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such
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 as air pollution or traffic jams.
Therefore
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, countries require to reduce using
cars
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 in order to avoid
further
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 climate catastrophes.
Firstly
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, the easiest way is to improve the opportunities of public
transport
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, which can be
also
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fast
Correct article usage
a fast
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 and comfortable concept to travel around the
cities
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.
Furthermore
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, using public
transport
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 saves energy, because
approaximitly
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approximately
 two or three hundred
people
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use
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 it at the same time, for whom do not have to
use
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 separate automobiles.
Also
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, the
increasing
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increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 public
transport
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 will create new jobs,
such
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 as
constructiors
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construction
constructors
contractors
 or builders.
Secondly
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, enhancing the pavements around the
cities
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 will make
people
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to
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apply
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walk more often
to
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too
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 limited distances.
For instance
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, it is not necessary to drive into the local grocery shop, where
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one could walk there for fifteen minutes walk.
Thirdly
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, another important approach would be to charging some overcrowded avenues or streets in the given countries.
Therefore
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, some drivers will have
second
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 thoughts
of
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about
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 using their car in that given days.
Furthermore
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, if these persons will leave their autos at home, the streets of the
cities
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 would be
also
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 more
quite
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quiet
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, which
imroves
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improves
improved
 the living quality of those residents, who live in the city centre.
Also
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, if one day only
cars
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 with nonsuch register plate would be allowed to travel with,
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and
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an
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another
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other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 day the ones with binate register plates, that will
also
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 help to solve
this
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 problem. Fourthly, restricting parking possibilities would make
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
reduce the
using
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use
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 of their
cars
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.
Also
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, excluding free parking possibilities would
also
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 make
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use
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 their car less. Many
people
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 drive their car to the city centre and leave it in a parking lot
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 causes enormous traffic jams and
polution
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pollution
.
Last
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 but not least, building new bicycle roads will improve the
people
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’s attitude to
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use
Change the verb form
using
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 theirs more generally. Using
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
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 is not just healthy for the
humn
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human
 body but
also
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 it has no emulsion emission. As has been noted, these given ideas are suitable to reduce the traffic in metropolises which would be an enormous step for the
futre
Correct your spelling
future
.
Submitted by bella.bakos on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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