The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #arts #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology

In the contemporary world, a numb of

specialits

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specialists

agree that modern schools should cut arts and music out of their curriculum, believing that those subjects are useless for the current

labor

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labour

show examples

market reality. In

this

essay, I will outline why I utterly disagree with

this

trend, giving important examples to support my opinion.

To begin

with, it is unquestionable that technology and jobs related to it are increasing in all departments.

For instance

, since Instagram has turned

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into

show examples

one of the most used advertisements tools, every company is hiring people to work with information

techlonogy

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technology

, feeding social

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

medias

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media

show examples

and implementing their digital marketing. In stark contrast, not everyone is professionally satisfied working with computers,

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

, or other areas related.

Moreover

, music and arts stimulate other brain parts which are fundamental to the development of creativity and attention. To illustrate

this

, a study performed by the psychology college of the State University of Ceará, in Brazil, has concluded that children diagnosed with attention deficit disorder during infancy who have access to instruments throughout their raising, were more capable of controlling their disease with less medication than others.

Furthermore

, presenting subjects to assist in creativity must help these tomorrow's adults to describe gifts that probably would not be explored.

For instance

, one case in point would be the movie School of Rock, which portray beautifully the role of music and art in students education.

Thus

, the school must incentive its students to describe their passion and not only develop tech acquaintance. To sum up,

although

today's

labor

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labour

show examples

market is demanding, it is still not reasonable to cut those

leasures

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pleasures

measures

from schools curriculum.

Submitted by alexandretco on Sat May 22 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

contentious
contemporary
correlation
foster
emotional intelligence
narrow students’ perspectives
critically
creatively
interdisciplinary
introspective
integration
debate
curriculum

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?