One of the Consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a matter which has gained traction that how the better-quality health care facilities have benefitted people with longer
life
span. I have compelling evidence to dwell on the notion that benefits supersede the demerits.
This
essay compares both the pros and cons and intends to delve into how
such
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
progress in the health industry could positively affect human
life
longevity.
To begin
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that worries me is that how advanced medication impacts adversely on the patients? Unfortunately, people are been bombarded with strong antibiotics resulting in severe side effects.
For instance
, when a person is diagnosed with cancer, he undertakes chemotherapy as a part of his treatment procedure, once the treatment gets over the radiations lasts over a prolonged period of time in his body resulting in decreasing quality of the
life
. One grim consequence of
such
rampant use of medical aids put an unnecessary threat to human
life
Nevertheless
, I believe that
such
use of medical treatments could be controlled by wise and appropriate application drug therapy. Having said that, the question that intrigues me is how
such
an advanced medical regimen helps to live longer? Undeniably, I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the diseases are being diagnosed with absolute precision, and it is
also
recorded for research purposes.
Moreover
, with the cutting-edge facility, there is always an upper hand in discovering chronic illnesses.
For example
, in the olden
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
the patients are mostly treated on an assumption basis
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if the illness was particularly new.
However
, today
this
is not the case, even the worst of all diseases can easily be identified with advanced equipment’s.
Thus
, it is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the curing methods are more appropriate. In conclusion, even though the use of enhanced health care facilities sometimes may have adverse effects, I am strongly convinced that proper application of modern medicines would contribute towards long human
life
expectancy.
Submitted by ankush.pharmaworld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: