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Band 4.5

The old tradition of a family having a meal together is disappearing. Why do you think is this happening?

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Nowadays, traditional values are vanishing. Earlier, it was a tradition to have a meal together with
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 family but
this
Linking Words
 trend does not seem to exist anymore.
This
Linking Words
change
Use synonyms
 has been brought by many factors and
this
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 essay will
ellaborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 more explaining the reasons for
this
Linking Words
change
Use synonyms
. There are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not following the tradition of eating food together.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, today's world is ruled by money and
and
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apply
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people
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 have become soo
workoholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
 to earn money that they do not even take their meals on
time
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 sitting together with their family. They do not have
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
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 balance which makes them
islolate
Correct your spelling
isolate
isolated
 and they prefer to eat food alone and at
inappropriate
Add an article
an inappropriate
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time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, nowaday's everyone prefers to have their own personal space and
time
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, so
instead
Linking Words
 of spending family
time
Use synonyms
together
Add a comma
,together
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people
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 are more often seen watching movies or listening
music
Change preposition
to music
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 while eating food.
For instance
Linking Words
, children may prefer to scroll their phones or watching cartoons rather than sitting with family to have their meal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
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 lifestyle is the major contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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change
Use synonyms
. Earlier, life was simple and eating together was a way for them to spend family
time
Use synonyms
 together. But
this
Linking Words
 drastic
change
Use synonyms
 in life has compelled
people
Use synonyms
 to prior their work
instead
Linking Words
 of family.
For example
Linking Words
, working parents have hardly
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 to spend with their kids that having a meal together is rather a difficult task for
this
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, family bondings are not that strong like they used to be in prior
time
Use synonyms
 which has resulted in having meals with friends, business partners and
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. To conclude,
change
Use synonyms
 in lifestyle and priorities have enforced
people
Use synonyms
 to
change
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 enormously than earlier times and
thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to have a meal together with family members.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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