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Band 4.5

The old tradition of a family having a meal together is disappearing. Why do you think is this happening?

#tradition
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Nowadays, traditional values are vanishing. Earlier, it was a tradition to have a meal together with
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 family but
this
 trend does not seem to exist anymore.
This
change
 has been brought by many factors and
this
 essay will
ellaborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 more explaining the reasons for
this
change
. There are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not following the tradition of eating food together.
To begin
 with, today's world is ruled by money and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
people
 have become soo
workoholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
 to earn money that they do not even take their meals on
time
 sitting together with their family. They do not have
work-life
Add an article
a work-life
show examples
 balance which makes them
islolate
Correct your spelling
isolate
isolated
 and they prefer to eat food alone and at
inappropriate
Add an article
an inappropriate
show examples
time
.
Moreover
, nowaday's everyone prefers to have their own personal space and
time
, so
instead
 of spending family
time
together
Add a comma
,together
show examples
people
 are more often seen watching movies or listening
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
 while eating food.
For instance
, children may prefer to scroll their phones or watching cartoons rather than sitting with family to have their meal.
Furthermore
,
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
show examples
 lifestyle is the major contributor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
change
. Earlier, life was simple and eating together was a way for them to spend family
time
 together. But
this
 drastic
change
 in life has compelled
people
 to prior their work
instead
 of family.
For example
, working parents have hardly
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 to spend with their kids that having a meal together is rather a difficult task for
this
.
Additionally
, family bondings are not that strong like they used to be in prior
time
 which has resulted in having meals with friends, business partners and
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. To conclude,
change
 in lifestyle and priorities have enforced
people
 to
change
 enormously than earlier times and
thus
people
 do not have
time
 to have a meal together with family members.
Submitted by Shweta Sirohi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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