Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results. While others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It has been

conflict

Change the verb form

conflicting

conflicted

show examples

between people, whose is more deserving

students

Use synonyms

, that should be rewarded. Some individuals opine that

students

Use synonyms

get

Correct pronoun usage

who get

show examples

on the top list should be

reward

Add an article

a reward

the reward

show examples

. While others believe that

students

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

shows improvement needs reward.

This

Linking Words

assignment intends to delve

both

Change preposition

into both

show examples

perspectives and in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

both did

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

to get better results.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that the

student

Use synonyms

which does great improvement should be appreciated. On the one hand, topper

students

Use synonyms

should be rewarded because it

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

them to do

best

Correct pronoun usage

their best

show examples

in the upcoming exams.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they did a lot of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

to achieve a

first

Linking Words

position in the class, they are truly deserving

appreciation

Change preposition

of appreciation

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, other

students

Use synonyms

are motivated

form

Add the particle

to form

show examples

this

Linking Words

. They think to get appreciation from their teacher and principal.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, moderate

students

Use synonyms

are inspiring to another

student

Use synonyms

. Their effort to achieve good grade is more than higher IQ

students

Use synonyms

. They know the true meaning of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and dedication.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, to achieve something in life.

Another

Replace the adjective

Other

show examples

students

Use synonyms

think that if that moderate

student

Use synonyms

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

reward

Add an article

a reward

show examples

then

Linking Words

they

also

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

. It is

teachers

Correct article usage

the teachers

show examples

responsibility to appreciate that

student

Use synonyms

who

consantly

Correct your spelling

constantly

improving in the exams. To conclude, I think that

student

Use synonyms

whose grade improve from

Change the article

the previous

show examples

result deserve more rewards than topper

one's

Change the noun form

ones

one

show examples

. He/she studies day and night to improve themself.

rayatsahil7Mon May 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

222 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, some communities have more young adults than older people. I believe the main benefits are more substantial.
6.5
band
Some people think that students in high or secondary school can choose courses freely, others think that courses such as mathematics must be compulsory. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are many subjects at school that students can study. Some individuals think that students in high or secondary school can freely choose any classes they want, whereas others argue that subjects like math must be compulsory. In this essay, I will look at both views and explain why optional and compulsory courses are both advantageous.
7
band
Write a letter to the company from who you purchased an item from which you are disappointed write about the product and why you are disappointed and what are you expect from
I am writing to bring to your attention an issue regarding the substandard quality of the juicer grinder, which has caused considerable inconvenience. I bought this mixer from your company.
8
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are countless environmental issues around the world. Some people think that specific animal extinction is severe, while others argue that focusing on other environmental challenges is crucial. I am in favour of the latter, and in this essay, I will discuss both sides and offer my opinion with examples in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?
Studying abroad has become increasingly common in the last few years, especially for young people from countries such as China and India. Many students and their families clearly consider the experience worth the sacrifices involved. The former often give up friendships when they move abroad; the latter often use their life savings. Moreover, many governments are willing to invest huge sums of money in sponsoring their young people to study in universities overseas. However, this has drawbacks as well as benefits for those concerned.

Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results. While others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that students in high or secondary school can choose courses freely, others think that courses such as mathematics must be compulsory. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to the company from who you purchased an item from which you are disappointed write about the product and why you are disappointed and what are you expect from

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?