Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results. While others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements

It has been

conflict

Change the verb form

conflicting

conflicted

show examples

between people, whose is more deserving

students

, that should be rewarded. Some individuals opine that

students

get

Correct pronoun usage

who get

show examples

on the top list should be

reward

Add an article

a reward

the reward

show examples

. While others believe that

students

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

shows improvement needs reward.

This

assignment intends to delve

both

Change preposition

into both

show examples

perspectives and in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

both did

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

to get better results.

However

, I believe that the

student

which does great improvement should be appreciated. On the one hand, topper

students

should be rewarded because it

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

them to do

best

Correct pronoun usage

their best

show examples

in the upcoming exams.

In addition

this

, they did a lot of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

to achieve a

first

position in the class, they are truly deserving

appreciation

Change preposition

of appreciation

show examples

Moreover

, other

students

are motivated

form

Add the particle

to form

show examples

this

. They think to get appreciation from their teacher and principal.

On the other hand

, moderate

students

are inspiring to another

student

. Their effort to achieve good grade is more than higher IQ

students

. They know the true meaning of

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

and dedication.

Furthermore

, to achieve something in life.

Another

Replace the adjective

Other

show examples

students

think that if that moderate

student

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

reward

Add an article

a reward

show examples

then

they

also

this

. It is

teachers

Correct article usage

the teachers

show examples

responsibility to appreciate that

student

who

consantly

Correct your spelling

constantly

improving in the exams. To conclude, I think that

student

whose grade improve from

Change the article

the previous

show examples

result deserve more rewards than topper

one's

Change the noun form

ones

one

show examples

. He/she studies day and night to improve themself.

Submitted by rayatsahil7 on Mon May 24 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that schools should reward students who show the best academic results. While others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sporting facilities, others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?