Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #people #groups #country

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Nowadays, People from different cultures live together in the same society.

This

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development could bring significant benefits for both our nation and

Correct article usage

the communitey

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communitey

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community

. I completely agree with

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notion because

this

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trend could improve cultural

exhange

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exchange

, and

also

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also

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provides

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apply

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greater creativity. The primary

advantages

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advantage

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of multicultural societies is cultural enrichment, learning about other cultures and civilizations helps us to understand other viewpoints and ideas and in doing so

ernriches

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enriches

enriched

our lives. Simply, having

neighbors

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neighbours

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from different nations can be an eye-opening experience.

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this

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also

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has a significant impact on

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apply

show examples

how people think. To illustrate, many individuals assume that their

way

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is the right

way

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to do something, and it is not until they are exposed to another

cultural's

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culture's

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oulook

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outlook

that they eventually realize that their

way

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is merely one

way

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of many. As

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result, different perspectives become more apparent when dealing with

cutlural

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cultural

or ethical issues. The second main

benefits

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benefit

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is an increase in one's

creativty

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creativity

creative

skill

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skills

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. The diversity of thoughts and opinions promotes innovation.

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, cities with a diverse population tend to be more innovative than

homgeneous

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homogeneous

homogenous

one

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ones

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. An example of a multicultural society is

Canda

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Canada

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where a large range of different

ethenicities

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ethnicities

including Chinese and Indian people live. In

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city, there is an increase in the number of creative jobs

such

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as writers, designers, and programmers In conclusion,

although

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multiculturalism societies might

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apply

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lead to

few

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a few

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drawbacks, I believe its advantages outweigh its negative impact.

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trend

improve

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improves

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our cultural enrichment and helps us to understand other thoughts, and it

also

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will enhance our creativity and innovation.

Submitted by zuhrakhirie1997 on Tue Jan 07 2025

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language advice

Work on improving the grammatical accuracy throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and spelling errors. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.

task advice

Although you have a clear introduction, consider expanding it with a bit more context or background information to set the stage for your argument.

structure highlight

Your essay effectively introduces and concludes with a clear stance on the topic, which helps in delivering a consistent argument throughout.

content highlight

The main points of your essay are well-developed and supported by examples, reflecting a strong understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural exchange
cultural fabric
traditions and perspectives
innovation
economic growth
social cohesion
tolerance and understanding
unity in diversity
cultural clashes
language barriers
multilingualism
integration
translation services
prejudice
diversity

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Multicultural societies, where people of different groups live together, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

If a product is good and meet customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising it is unneccessary. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising their family, and therefore the government should support them financially. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.