The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #town #cities

Due to the use of smartphones and easy access to the internet popularity of online shopping has increased drastically. People assume that the rise in the popularity of online shopping will one day force all the physical shops to exit. I partially agree with the statement, in

this

essay, I will discuss both the argument thoroughly. On one hand, it is easy, convenient and time saving to

purchase

from the virtual shop.

For example

, I can

purchase

in my free time, I don't have to wait till the shop opens nor have to worry about rushing to the store before it closes.

Therefore

online shopping allows me to buy

goods

at the time I want. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Further

Add a comma

,Further

show examples

also

allows us to compare the different specification of

goods

over the internet.

Hence

it makes us easy to select

goods

On the other hand

, it is impossible for us to buy some

goods

without verifying them physically. For ,instance buying a car over the internet is not a good idea.

Similarly

, it is not an excellent decision to

purchase

clothes on a website. Often we face problem with fitting when we

purchase

clothes online.

In addition

, elderly people, those who are not comfortable with technology prefer physical stores over

Add an article

the

show examples

online shop. In conclusion, youth prefers shopping online as they find it convenient and time-saving.

However

old generation people having trouble with technology will continue shopping physically. As

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

aresult

Correct your spelling

a result

the growth of online shopping will continue to accelerate but stores in the market will

also

continue to exist.

Submitted by sharmakamal1123 on Wed May 26 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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