IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

#unemployment #challenge #school-leavers #countries #challenges #face #people
Unemployment is growing with the increasing population everywhere in the world. With the exponential population growth, it's very hard for the governments and public sectors to create enough opportunities for the young generation to get a job right after getting out of college. Here in
this
 essay, I will explain why I agree to
this
 assessment with some considerations.
Firstly
, in recent years, the population has grown in most regions because of the no-war situation, lower death rates and growing economy because of globalization. But in the
last
 couple of decades, we have reached a point where the number of students graduating each year outnumbers the jobs available in the market.
Also
, increasing tension amongst many countries, pandemic situation, etc. are contributing to the slow-down of the financial growth for most of the countries.
Hence
, finding work right after college is becoming a tough task, which most of the graduates across the work are currently facing.
Secondly
, the education is not uniform across all the countries and
hence
 it creates a barrier for the jobseekers, who want to apply for a work visa outside of their nation. They need to take some qualification tests in order to be eligible to apply for the opportunities available in various other nations.
Hence
, it is very important to make sure that the education system across the world is synchronised well for brilliant minds to obtain employment after graduation as per their ability anywhere globally. Many nations have started the international pattern in their education system is the
first
 step in that direction, in my opinion. To conclude, there are many challenges and not getting paid right after completing the study is the biggest one in front of the young generation and
this
 can have a detrimental impact on their career.
Hence
, measures need to be taken by the academic authorities and
also
 by the parents of children to overcome these limitations many are facing nowadays.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: