IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, smoking in public areas is a frequent topic of discussion.
However
Linking Words
, smoking in public places is against the law now in various nations. I agree with the notion that if a person wants to smoke, he should go away from the public infrastructures. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss the aforementioned view with examples.
Body · 1
To commence with, the pivotal reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is passive smoking is very dangerous for health.
In other words
Linking Words
, people who are not smoking, and in a company with
smokers
Use synonyms
, are called passive
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, It leads to fatal diseases like lung cancer, throat cancer, hypertension, and so on.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey recently conducted by BBC News has revealed that 20% of the passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 affected by cancer in the
last
Linking Words
 two decades.
Therefore
Linking Words
, It is the responsibility of every citizen to leave the government premises during smoking.
Body · 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
smokers
Use synonyms
 are a threat
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for
children
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the immune system of teenagers is generally not so much strong.
Also
Linking Words
, infants and adolescents travel with their family and can be easily found in public buildings.
For instance
Linking Words
, research conducted by The British Government shows that
children
Use synonyms
 are more prone to the illness caused by smokes of cigarettes.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that
smokers
Use synonyms
 must go away from
children
Use synonyms
 while smoking.
Conclusion
In conclusion, passive smoking is a fatal threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the health of
non
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
show examples
smokers
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 are most affected due to
this
Linking Words
. If people want to smoke, it is their moral responsibility that they should leave the public premises immediately.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: