IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Some companies have a policy that requires their
employees
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 to dress formally when going to
work
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.
However
Linking Words
, I think it does not matter what the
employees
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 wear, as long as they can get their job done well. Mostly, when we look at the
people
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 working for a big corporation, they are wearing a suit and tie to
work
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. By dressing like
this
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, they could easily gain a good
first
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 impression, especially trust from other
people
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.
For instance
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, a salesman working for a big
company
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 dealing with important clients have to appear that he can be trusted. If he is not neat,
then
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 the clients will wonder if
this
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 man is legitimate and if he can do his job well. If
this
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 happens, the
company
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 may lose potential clients and their reputation might be at stake too.
In contrast
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, nowadays many modern organisations do not care about their
Use synonyms
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 appearance, they can wear whatever they want. The management only focuses on the performance of the staff member,
therefore
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 they do not pay much attention to
such
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 details.
Hence
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 they can direct their energy to more important things and achieve a greater result.
Besides
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,
people
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 nowadays are more used to seeing casually dressed
employees
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 in a big
company
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.
For example
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, Mark Zuckerberg usually only wear a T-shirt, and we always see Steve Jobs in his turtleneck, but
people
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 still believe the product they sell
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the quality of engineering behind it. In conclusion,
work
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 apparel is not an important factor in a
company
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. As long as the quality of
work
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 the
employees
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 deliver is high, they can still reach their goals and thrive.
Submitted by fransiska.wiyanto on

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