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Band 4

Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #products #economy #society
These days several states motivate
population
Add an article
the population
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 to expend more and more
money
 for
consuming
Replace the word
consumer
show examples
 products, which has a positive effect on the state’s economy.
Besides
, some people believe that behaviour
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society negatively. In my opinion, spending
money
 for buying
goods
 is crucial for an economy but
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excessive
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
also
 harms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
, for improving the live standard of inhabitants of one country, it is necessary to increase its GDP.
Therefore
, one possibility is to encourage the inhabitants of a state to spend more
money
 on buying
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 product and heighten their
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 behaviour.
Consequently
, the shop owner, producer of
goods
 etc. would earn more
money
, which they could
also
 spend on paying a higher salary to its employees and improving the working atmosphere by making the workplace safer and more modern.
Furthermore
, the country would take more taxes, which
thus
 could be invested in improving the infrastructure, building and modernising educational institutions etc.
On the other hand
, an excessive
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
goods
 lowers the
money saving
Add a hyphen
money-saving
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 rate, which can lead to people not having saved enough
money
 in old age and falling into old-age poverty.
Besides
, it rises products prices considerably and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
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 many people would not be able to afford plenty of products.
In addition
, it
also
 leads to higher production of waste by every household, which
damage
Change the verb form
damages
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 the environment tremendously. In conclusion, expending
money
 on buying more and more
goods
 might have a positive effect on peoples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 but as long as consumerism does not become too excessive, and everyone spends the
money
 only on consumer
goods
.
Submitted by dietrich.silber on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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