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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays some countries encourage people to buy more and more products, which is good for economy. While others believe it is bad for the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #products #economy #society
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These days several states motivate
population
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the population
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 to expend more and more
money
 for
consuming
Replace the word
consumer
show examples
 products, which has a positive effect on the state’s economy.
Besides
, some people believe that behaviour
Correct your spelling
affects
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effects
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affects
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society negatively. In my opinion, spending
money
 for buying
goods
 is crucial for an economy but
an
Correct article usage
apply
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excessive
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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also
 harms
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Firstly
, for improving the live standard of inhabitants of one country, it is necessary to increase its GDP.
Therefore
, one possibility is to encourage the inhabitants of a state to spend more
money
 on buying
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 product and heighten their
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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 behaviour.
Consequently
, the shop owner, producer of
goods
 etc. would earn more
money
, which they could
also
 spend on paying a higher salary to its employees and improving the working atmosphere by making the workplace safer and more modern.
Furthermore
, the country would take more taxes, which
thus
 could be invested in improving the infrastructure, building and modernising educational institutions etc.
On the other hand
, an excessive
consume
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consumption
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 of
goods
 lowers the
money saving
Add a hyphen
money-saving
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 rate, which can lead to people not having saved enough
money
 in old age and falling into old-age poverty.
Besides
, it rises products prices considerably and
as a
result
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,result
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 many people would not be able to afford plenty of products.
In addition
, it
also
 leads to higher production of waste by every household, which
damage
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damages
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 the environment tremendously. In conclusion, expending
money
 on buying more and more
goods
 might have a positive effect on peoples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 but as long as consumerism does not become too excessive, and everyone spends the
money
 only on consumer
goods
.
Submitted by dietrich.silber on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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