IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at the given graphs
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the information regarding prices, promotional discounts, and advertising budget by the 7 various tablet stores. Apparently, in terms of
price
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,
Smith
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store
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 has the lowest
price
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 ($180) which is almost one-
third
Linking Words
 of
store
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Nova
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's average rate ($565), but it offers only
5
Correct article usage
a 5
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%
discount
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that is
Linking Words
 one-fifth compared to
Nova
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's
discount
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 (25%).
Lewis
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 has the
Linking Words
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
price
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 of sale and rate of
discount
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 ($460 and 20% respectively).
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
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 all other stores sell tablets with nearly the same amount ranges between $299 and $312, with
10
Correct article usage
a 10
show examples
% of
discount
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. To look at sales volume while providing discounts, we can clearly see that
Nova
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 and
Lewis
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 who
offere
Correct your spelling
offer
offered
offers
 more
dicount
Correct your spelling
discount
 attract more buyers and the proportion of sales are higher (23% and 22% respectively).
Smith
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store
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,
however
Linking Words
,
Correct your spelling
does
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dose
Correct your spelling
does
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 not
Add an article
a sale
the sale
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sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 that much and remains at 4% of
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 while promotion time. Other stores here
also
Linking Words
 remains at the same proportion of selling (12% to 14%). When it comes to advertising fund,
store
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Smith
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 pays nothing, while
Lewis
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 and
Nova
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 contribute a
significant
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significantly
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 lesser amount ($18,000 and $21,000 respectively) than
other
Change the wording
another store
other stores
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store
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 that offers dramatically the highest amount, between $67,000 to $ 70,000. To conclude,
Smith
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 does not pay
niether
Correct your spelling
neither
 to advertising nor offer
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discount
Add an article
a discount
show examples
;
hence
Linking Words
, it can only
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 minimal volumes of tablets.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by offering the highest
discount
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 and
price
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,
Nova
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 and
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Lewis
Add the possessive form
Lewis's
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 sales show
a remarkably high percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a remarkably high percentage
remarkably high percentages
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
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