Full-time university students spend most of their time in class or working on assignments. However, some people think that it is important for students to get involved in non-academic activities on campus as well (for example, to join a sports team or take part in drama). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Universities’ homework and
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
lessons
take a great larger time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
.
Thus
, there has been a remarkable increase in the number of people who support that it is undoubted that
students
should join some non-academic
actions
Replace the word
activities
show examples
such
as
football
Correct article usage
a football
show examples
team or a course of the instrument. From my point of view,
this
behaviour can add numerous contributions to not only mental but
also
physical
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will delve into my opinion by giving some plausible
specimen
Fix the agreement mistake
specimens
show examples
before
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
a logical conclusion. First of all, the rising amount of must-have responsibilities with respect to pupil’s
lessons
comes to mean that he spends a lot of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
at home or university.
Moreover
, he cannot strike up a friendship with someone from the same class. Contrary to
this
, getting round more time to
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a football match with his friends
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
with
new
Correct pronoun usage
him new
show examples
acquaintances, which leads to expanding his entourage. İt is
also
unsurprising to see that he can be successful in his studies.
According to
a report having been published by one of the eminent
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
has come out that teenagers having wide groups of friends are more salubrious and efficient. On the other way, there is no rule that individuals have to finish their
lessons
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
high
note
Fix the agreement mistake
notes
show examples
owing to the likelihood of
talented
Add a missing verb
being talented
show examples
towards a support department
such
as basketball or volleyball. Tasks should not pose an obstacle
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
predisposition to an extracurricular hobby. What I mean by
this
is that schools may contain great numbers of
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
having flamboyant abilities
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
an activity.
For instance
, there is no denying the fact that a vast majority of sports
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
has not finished
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
However
, they pursued their wishes and
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
a lot of respect from people. In light of the information mentioned above, it can be clearly said that even though there is homework and other duties,
students
should allocate some
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
to extra-curricular exercises for both victories of their
lessons
and future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Full-time university
students
spend most of their time in class or working on assignments.
However
, some people think that it is important for
students
to get involved in non-academic activities on campus as well (
for example
, to join a sports team or take part in drama). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by Burak on

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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Support them with relevant and specific examples.
task achievement
Address the prompt more explicitly in your thesis statement and throughout your essay to ensure your response is complete.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases for better cohesiveness.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clarity in your arguments. Simplify sentences to make your points clearer.
task achievement
You have included a conclusion that effectively summarizes your position.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the essay well with a clear point of view.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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