IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
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The median of
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weight
Add an article
the weight
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 of
people
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 is growing while
theiw
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their
the
 standards of
health
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 and
fitness
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 are delining in few countries around the world.
This
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 essay will explain the causes why
this
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 is happening and put forward several solutions for these issues. One of the major
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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 of
this
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 is minimal physical
activity
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throught
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through
throughout
 the
day
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. While
,
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apply
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people
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 used to spend almost 70
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
day
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 time in front of computers and mobile, they do not perform any
fitness
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activity
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 for
health
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maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
. According to the research
publish
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published
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 by King Edward Medical College, more than 65
percent
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per cent
show examples
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people
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of people
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 do not perform any
day
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 to
day
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activity
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 for
health
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. Another issue of
this
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 is the intake of unhealthy and
unhigenic
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unhygienic
food
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 on daily basis. Working professionals used to eat fast
food
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 like burgers and other
unheginc
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unhygienic
food
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 which in result
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 on their
health
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.
First
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 of all, In order to reduce and maintain the
weight
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people
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 should starting doing
a physical
Correct the article-noun agreement
physical activities
a physical activity
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activities
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 like, running, jogging, gym or cycling. Without these
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activities
Add a comma
,activities
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 no one can reduce the
weight
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 and stay healthy.
Although
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, going to
gym
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the gym
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 or park for jogging as a working professional is a bit difficult in terms of time management, but these
activities
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 are not
time restricted
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time-restricted
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 and can be done at
anytime
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any time
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 either early morning or late
night
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at night
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 before going to bed.
Second
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 of all, everyone must change their eating habits. Starts
eaiting
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eating
dating
heigenic
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hygienic
home made
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homemade
show examples
food
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 and fruits rather than having junk
food
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. In conclusion, no
fitness
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activity
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 and having junk
food
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 are the main issues of
weight
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 increase but can be taken care of very easily if start
health
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fitness
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activities
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 and taking
heigenic
Correct your spelling
hygienic
food
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.
Submitted by nabeel.akhtar1993 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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