In many countries, women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this because women can earn their income and therefore not require financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

From the time of
the
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Adam and Eve, human has always desired
of
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companionship and love.
Therefore
, marriage is the first relationship that came into being with the birth of humans and has always taken a pivotal role in creating the unit of the family. It has been observed recently that
this
prime relation is fading away with the advancement of our
life
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lives
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and has significantly lost its importance. Many people believe that the reason behind it is
the
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that
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women are getting independent more every day and are not willing to get bound. I disagree with
this
statement and will share my points below. First of all, married
life
does not only bring financial security, rather it brings emotional dependency for partners. So that they can share their good and bad phases of
life
. Financial independence though is important but it can not give you
this
kind of relaxation. Only a loved one could make you feel better when the time is against you. So marriage stays
as
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an important part of one's
life
, no matter, how wealthy she is.
For example
, there is a well-known verse that money can't buy you happiness.
Secondly
, people today are less committed to their relationships than they used to be before. There are so many causes that have
lead
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led
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to
this
scenario and it is wrong to blame only the financial independence of women. In fact, it's the need of time that they should not rely on their partner's income. To be honest, women, nowadays, are reluctant to
long term
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long-term
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relationships mainly because they don't find honesty
from
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in
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their companions so they prefer to stay alone and earn on their own ,
instead
of staying empty-handed.
In addition
, it gives them the confidence to face the world
as well as
the strength to fight their odd times. In a nutshell, it is not a bad thing to get financial stability yet, it is important that both
the
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partners
should
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give their 100% to their relationship and should never compromise on dishonesty. The earning by a woman can bring more financial security to home
that
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which
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is a positive thing but with all
this
, none should step back from
this
primary relation and the basic unit of society
that is
home.
Submitted by Maj on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas and examples is somewhat limited. Consider providing more detailed and nuanced explanations to fully address the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a strong introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points effectively. There is a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. To improve coherence, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay.

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