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Band 5.5

DOCTORS, NURSED AND TEACHERS MAKE A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND SHOULD BE PAYER MORE THAN ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS CELEBRITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#doctors #teachers #contribution #society #payer #entertainment #sports #celebrities
Essential services are the backbone of a national system. Employees in
this
 field bring enormous effort to the community as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the superstars in show biz and sports
thus
 need to be compensated better. I strongly agree with the statement
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
 a better salary will help employees to remain focused with a higher probability of retention in jobs.
This
 essay shall discuss the reasons with relevant examples why I
am holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
this
 view.
Initially
, Medical and Education staff are working round the clock to help society so should be paid more
while
 the people working in entertainment and sports are merely entertaining the public. A satisfied mind brings happiness which strives the workforce to deliver a high level of output without any distraction towards financial needs.
For example
, if scientists have fatty pay and perks which are fulfilling their needs
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can be more focused on their jobs without any hindrance.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sound financial condition will enhance the focus on work.
Moreover
, to achieve the best from the staff working in emergency services and education sector experience is the key to success. An employee will not leave the job and as they remain in the field will have a better understanding of the system, norms and mission if they were well compensated more than the industry norms.
For instance
, Professors in universities are provided with all the facilities like comprehensive medical coverage,
free
Correct word choice
and free
show examples
 education for their children in order to retain them.
Hence
, priority should be given to the people working tirelessly to serve the nation in their thankless jobs. In conclusion,
although
 every profession has its own place
due to
 the high pressure and intense nature of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
 people helping to build society should be compensated more than the other sectors.
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