DOCTORS, NURSED AND TEACHERS MAKE A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND SHOULD BE PAYER MORE THAN ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS CELEBRITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

#doctors #teachers #contribution #society #payer #entertainment #sports #celebrities

Essential services are the backbone of a national system. Employees in

this

field bring enormous effort to the community as

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

to the superstars in show biz and sports

thus

need to be compensated better. I strongly agree with the statement

Change preposition

that

show examples

a better salary will help employees to remain focused with a higher probability of retention in jobs.

This

essay shall discuss the reasons with relevant examples why I

am holding

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

this

view.

Initially

, Medical and Education staff are working round the clock to help society so should be paid more

while

the people working in entertainment and sports are merely entertaining the public. A satisfied mind brings happiness which strives the workforce to deliver a high level of output without any distraction towards financial needs.

For example

, if scientists have fatty pay and perks which are fulfilling their needs

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can be more focused on their jobs without any hindrance.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sound financial condition will enhance the focus on work.

Moreover

, to achieve the best from the staff working in emergency services and education sector experience is the key to success. An employee will not leave the job and as they remain in the field will have a better understanding of the system, norms and mission if they were well compensated more than the industry norms.

For instance

, Professors in universities are provided with all the facilities like comprehensive medical coverage,

free

Correct word choice

and free

show examples

education for their children in order to retain them.

Hence

, priority should be given to the people working tirelessly to serve the nation in their thankless jobs. In conclusion,

although

every profession has its own place

due to

the high pressure and intense nature of

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

people helping to build society should be compensated more than the other sectors.

Submitted by pdhama72 on Wed Jun 02 2021

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coherence cohesion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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DOCTORS, NURSED AND TEACHERS MAKE A GREAT CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND SHOULD BE PAYER MORE THAN ENTERTAINMENT AND SPORTS CELEBRITIES. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that the current system of both teachers and students in the classroom will no longer exist by the year 2050. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Some people believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?