IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #workplace #reason
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Nowadays, the way a business operates has
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Change the verb form
changed
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changes
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changed
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 drastically. As
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of the work is
technology driven
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technology-driven
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therefore
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changes
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 happen frequently. If the
employees
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 are unable to adapt to
such
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 new circumstances, they would eventually be laid off since they would not be able to add up to the organisation’s growth.
To begin
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 with, at earlier times people used to carry out tasks manually which resulted in more time and money consumption.
However
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, at
present
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,present
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 the operations are undertaken through technology, machines, artificial intelligence and much more.
As a result
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 of which the workers have to be updated with those various innovations. The younger generation is able to adapt to
such
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 kind of variations
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real-time
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real
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in real
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 time without putting
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in much
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much
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many
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 efforts whereas the long term
employees
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, at times, face difficulties in getting used to those
changes
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.
Therefore
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, the companies prefer young
employees
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 over
the
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apply
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older ones.
For instance
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, a job which involves working in distinct circumstances and includes a lot of
traveling
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travelling
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 would be more suitable for a young employee as he would have a healthy body and zeal in himself.
On the contrary
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, it would be highly unjustified on the part of old aged workers if they
are replaces
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are replaced
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 just like that. The company should come up with alternatives
such
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 as staff training, enhance financial compensation to motivate the
employees
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 for taking over to
changes
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.
Moreover
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, if a company has just the younger
employees
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then
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 it would not have someone with huge experience who could guide them through. According to
me
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my
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, the companies should try to maintain balance in their
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employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
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 proportion and bring some ideas and initiatives for their old and young
employees
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 which would result in
overall
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the overall
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 benefit of everyone.
Therefore
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, I partially agree with the topic. The younger generation is the future of a country and they should be guided in
a
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the
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 right way by the older
employees
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.
On the other hand
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, the older generation should try to keep pace with the
changes
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 so that they can work hand in hand with the younger
employees
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.
Submitted by harsimrankaur2400 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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