Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success.others argue that happiness is a kind of personal feeling and has nothing to do with one's financial status.

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It is irrefutable
ture
Correct your spelling
true
sure
that nowadays it is becoming heated issue whether
happiness
Use synonyms
is related to wealth or not.
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
some might deem that
happiness
Use synonyms
connect
Change the verb form
connects
show examples
with
people
Use synonyms
success,
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
others think that it is only a type of
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
emotions and nothing more than I will shed some light
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
both views along with my own opinion in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,there are numerous reasons
people
Use synonyms
say
happiness
Use synonyms
is linked with economic growth.
first
Linking Words
and foremost reason is that in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
era,the price of every
commodiety
Correct your spelling
commodity
is increasing day by day,so ti fulfil their desire they need to get
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
paid job,which enables them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their needs and enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
with any worry Apart from
this
Linking Words
,nowadays
people
Use synonyms
want to live update with new fashion , so for it they
also
Linking Words
need to a big chunk of money to purchase new trendy thinks ,if they do not have money to buy these things
then
Linking Words
they do not live happy in their
life
Use synonyms
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
contrast
Add an article
the contrast
show examples
,some
indiviaduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
say that
Correct your spelling
joyful
joyfull
Correct article usage
a joyfull
show examples
situation is
only
Add an article
an only
show examples
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
feeling of a person
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
they deem that
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
can be live happy during
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
spent with their friends, family and relatives
this
Linking Words
is because they can get relief .when they share their feeling with their know
one's
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ones
one
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are plenty of
people
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who have not
luxury
Correct article usage
a luxury
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
but
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
more than other
people
Use synonyms
who have
richest
Correct article usage
the richest
show examples
in the world,to set a precedent
last
Linking Words
year a
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
was conducted by my nation in which
people
Use synonyms
saw astonished result poor class
people
Use synonyms
live
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
as
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
to upper classes. Hammering the
last
Linking Words
nail,according to me
happiness
Use synonyms
us
Change the pronoun
we
show examples
depend upon a situation
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
if a person
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their basic needs without economic success
then
Linking Words
they can live happy with wealth but if they do not enable to get basic things
then
Linking Words
they cannot
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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