Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

Entertainment is a part of individuals

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lives

life

lifes

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lives

show examples

also

those who are working in

this

field

such

as famous celebrities, pop

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stars

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starts

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stars

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

persons you name it. I strongly concur with

this

statement as it strengthens the wealth in the country and shows the well-paid jobs in

area

Add an article

the area

an area

show examples

of employment.

This

essay will substantiate views in the following paragraph with the relevant examples. On the one hand, earning

money

is a need of individuals to provide bread and butter to their family members along with living an extremely comfortable, elegant or lavish lifestyle.

This

is completely true for living luxurious lifestyle people's need huge amount

money

so they could accomplish their desires

such

as world tour, buying expensive cars, and latest gadgets.

For example

, famous person's collect more

money

as compared to the normal human being they have piled up with various live shows, concerts along with the big film offers through these various ways they get limitless income source. Another supportive argument to my ideology is that

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apply

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it is not neglectable the fact that, the famous personality has many income sources but there are few occupations who can earn good wages like, doctors, politicians or white-collar workers.

For instance

, doctors have good salaries all over the country especially surgeons who earn lacks or sometimes more than that within

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apply

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one surgery along with politicians who could

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

money

through good or bad ways as we called it black or white

money

Furthermore

, these professions have various springs to gain tremendous profits. To conclude, considering above mentioned points it is evident that, a proper career and quality of work will provide extensive roots for making funds. I opine that

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apply

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these occupations have a never-ending way to obtain funds and it is predicted that

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

popularity will continue to flourish in the future

Submitted by ankitacommon on Thu Jun 03 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that a persons improve their intellectual skills more when doing a group activity. To what extend do you agree.

Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and your opinion.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.