Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development

In the contemporary era, it is irrefutable that

technology

has completely changed the

world

and our daily life to a significant extent. It is predominantly seen that in the competitive

world

, individuals prefer to

work

home

as well as juveniles started studying from

home

because it is readily available at an affordable price

nevertheless

, I entirely support that

technology

has a legion of merit to society but, it has a few darker sides too. There has

a myriad advantages

Correct the article-noun agreement

myriad advantages

a myriad advantage

show examples

which will

Change the verb form

further explain

show examples

further

explain

this

argument, but the most prominent is that it helped humans to increase their productivity in various aspects of life because adults can accomplish their

work

anywhere in the

world

as well as find their job which

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them for settle their future life

therefore

in today's

world

companies make an immense profit. To cite an example, many

MNCS

Correct your spelling

MNCs

encourage their employees to

work

from their

home

as they see that person do

work

in a convenient environment and stay with their family members.

As a result

Add a comma

show examples

employees give 100% results to the company.

Besides

this

, learners can

also

do their

work

home

not only at their preferred time but

also

at their own pace.

Moreover

, owing to

technology

, audiovisual media help them to understand any topic comprehensively which is beneficial for them in future. To exemplify, in recent times due to global pandemic, students cannot go to their school,

thus

, every school provides distance learning to continue their study by throwing many platforms

such

as Byju and Udemy. Apart from

this

, due to a number of circumstances, individuals are suffering from several health issues like blood pressure, obesity, diabetes which may be caused by

technology

. Despite having better connections, people can use social media apps like WhatsApp, Instagram, when they call another person they lose face to face connection. In conclusion,

although

sometimes citizens face obstacles to using the internet as a lack of better connection, I believe that it is a positive development.

Submitted by Shaunak Desai on Thu Jun 03 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?