when new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time

In recent years, due to

innovation

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,innovation

show examples

many new approaches are taken into account. It is believed, that whenever there is

new

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a new

the new

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development of cities or towns it is essential to build more public

parks

or to bring more amenities regarding

sport

rather than building shopping malls. In my notion,

government

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the government

show examples

should construct new towns including public

parks

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

. Town planners should give preferences to

parks

, gardens or sports.

First

and foremost, when there is

planning

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the planning

show examples

of building new city

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

parks

and sports should be there because by having public

parks

people

can spend their leisure time with their loved ones.

Furthermore

, they get fresh air since it is less polluted.

However

, by constructing new

parks

people

come together and can communicate with each other which will enhance social gathering.

Moreover

, there will be

utilization

Add an article

the utilization

show examples

of phone. According to

recent

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a recent

show examples

report, it was stated that adolescents are more involved in social media platforms and they do not get out of it which results

into

Change preposition

show examples

health

Add an article

a health

show examples

issue.

Therefore

, more public

parks

should be encouraged.

Secondly

, having

sport

facilities

people

can do daily exercise and they can keep their body fit and healthy.

In addition

people

can do swimming and jogging when the facility is available. A

sport

is played in

group

Add an article

the group

a group

show examples

so there will be more interaction with

people

and

this

will increase the bond between them.

Nevertheless

, by having

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

facilities

adults or children will come out from home.

Consequently

, it reduces the usage of phone and watching television.

Finally

Change preposition

apply

show examples

planning to have these

facilities

can generate revenue. Not only it is beneficial to

people

but

also

to the government. In spite of the fact that by constructing big ground which involved all sports

facilities

can generate income because many games can be played in future in that city.

By contrast

, shopping malls are not needed since online purchase is tremendously increasing. To summarize, I reiterate that while planning to construct new towns planners should build more public

parks

sport

facilities

as it will generate more revenue and make relation closer.

Submitted by Shaunak Desai on Thu Jun 03 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

345 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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when new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nawadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?